Saturday, October 3, 2009

And Today I Changed

I Tried to sleep early last night. Early for me is anything before 3am. I seem to have a light kind of insomnia that no matter when I wake or what I do, I can't sleep before 3am. I stayed in, had a small drink, watched a movie, had a snack and still nothing. I was just up all night. Whenever I try to beat the clock, I end up awake much longer than my usual 3am bedtime. I think I saw the clock every half hour up until 730 this morning.

So when I did finally get up at 830, I did something new. I opened the windows.

If you have ever known me or stepped into one of my rooms, you might have some clue to how different that is. But unless you've been to my newest surroundings you won't truly get the full weight of my drawing back the heavy dark shades that block out all light completely. Drawn, I have complete darkness 24/7. I Can be isolated from the world to the point where I don't even know what the weather is like outside of the temperature. I'm underground and out of sight.

So today I opened the windows.

I don't know what its going to effect other than my morning routine, but maybe it'll do more. Maybe it'll shake my world just a little. Maybe I can take this little change and go somewhere new, not just locally but actually. Maybe something nice will come into my life. Things are going well right now but I'm barely satisfied. It's no one's fault, it just is. I guess that's another change, I'm actually giving thought to happiness again. So maybe I'll leave the windows open every morning. Let that light in. Maybe it'll warm up the room, make things a little more inviting.

Yesterday was normal. Yesterday was awful. I opened the windows. And today I changed.

No comments:

Post a Comment