Sunday, January 31, 2010


"Imagine there's no Heaven 
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people

Living for today"

I find it funny how people will blame God for the problems humans cause. He totally shook Haiti to the ground, and drowned New Orleans and allowed the towers to fall and killed that bus load of preschoolers and all the other terrible things in the world. Oh yeah and it's because he's angry at us for being selfish, evil dirty little creatures.  Now when that new baby pulls through surgery and your favorite team wins the big game and when you don't get caught speeding drunk after sleeping with your best friend's wife, he was there too. He's got your back, but only when you need Him right?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Know Thyself

In all of us there are strengths and weaknesses. Knowing which are which is very important to our health and safety. Something I know about myself is the issue of my sexual appetite. It is something I see as a strength to me because it helps me fulfill my own desires and fulfill the needs of my partner. You can't get to your destination if your vehicle is out of gas.  

But as far as relationships go, it is a major fissure in the wall. It's easy to feel let down when I don't get what I want and need even knowing about the reasons why. I know I'm not running at a normal speed compared to the world. None of that changes how I feel. In the future I hope I can find ways to make these problems disappear but in the meantime I guess I'll have to keep watching to make sure the crack doesn't grow. 

Monday, January 11, 2010

Discouraging Words

I haven't felt a feeling like this in a long time, and I guess that is something to be proud of. Although when in it, the reason to celebrate isn't nearly as clear. This despair has deep tendrils, grabbing hold of the few soft spots left in this hardened heart. Its profound how hard it can hit without warning. Stabbing deep under the skin, twisting and then back out to release the flow out on the ground. Damp puddles forming, your body leaking. Doing all you can to hide the panic.

I had to leave. I couldn't look anyone in the face. I hope it goes back where it came from and stays away. It's not welcome anymore. 

Monday, January 4, 2010

Just A Reminder

"That house negro loved his master. But that field negro, remember, they were in the majority, and they hated their master. When the house caught on fire, he didn't try to put it out, that field negro prayed for a wind. For a breeze. When the master got sick, the field negro prayed that he died. If someone come to the field negro and said 'Let's separate, let's run.' He didn't say 'Where we going?' he said 'Any place is better than here'. We got field negroes in America today. I'm a field negro. The masses are the field negroes. When they see this mans house on fire, we don't hear these little negroes talkin bout 'Our Government is in trouble. They say thee Government is in trouble.' Imagine a negro, "Our Government".

~~Malcolm X~~

Don't need February to tell me. 

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Year Anew

Blazing a trail through the world is no easy task. You must prepare for so many things. There are obstacles that come in various forms like the colors on a stoplight. Reds will bring you to a halt which is never good for a burning fire. Yellows will cool you down and make you more accessible but to possibly the wrong kinds of people. Greens however are the most dangerous because although they usher you through, you may not want to risk  passing an important turn in the road. Or maybe it'll lead you on faster than you intended to roll. 

Whichever road you choose make it worthwhile friends. I intend to do just that. Back up reds, I got no time for stopping!